How to Find the Light at the End of the Tunnel

5 Ways to Find the Light at the End of the Tunnel - wikiHow/**/var WH = WH || {};WH.lang = WH.lang || {};button_swap = button_unswap = function(){};WH.exitTimerStartTime = (new Date()).getTime();WH.mergeLang = function(A){for(i in A){v=A[i];if(typeof v==='string'){WH.lang[i]=v;}}}; Sign Up or Log In or Log In via

Follow us on Pinterest

HomeArticlesCommunityMy Profile WH.translationData = {'es': {'msg':"\u00bfTe gustar\u00eda saber Como encontrar la luz al final del t\u00fanel? \u00a1Lee acerca de eso en espa\u00f1ol!"}};WH.mergeLang({'navlist_collapse': '- collapse','navlist_expand': '+ expand'});EditHome » Categories » Health » Emotional Health » Happiness & OptimismHow to Find the Light at the End of the TunnelEdited by Grant Acroli, Teresa, Garshepp, Bran Glitz and 6 others

Pin ItArticle EditDiscussSo, your life isn't the best it has ever been. Have your dreams been crushed, your heart broken -- and are you just about ready to give up? Still, clinging to shreds of your life, you find yourself reading this article with the hope of getting back up again. Finding the light at the end of the tunnel is possible as you seek it, so hang in there.

Edit Steps

The Temporariness of Current Woes1Realize that whatever you might be going through is temporary. Life is like the tides; you have your highs and lows, but no situation is permanent. Things will get better at some point. The sun is always shining behind the clouds.

2Cultivate patience. It can seem like an endless state of despair, if you're used to instant gratification -- getting things over and done with. Sometimes the journey of life slows right down so that you have time to ponder its purpose. By being patient, you can give yourself the space to cope and wait out the misfortune.

Staying Upbeat1Realize that this kind of suffering is a state of mind. So, when you don't believe that you are suffering, you can't really suffer. This is based on your attitude (your focus in the face of events), which can either leave you in deeper despair -- or diligently hunting for ways to change the situation that you've found yourself in.

Use this time to learn more about yourself. Hard times test us and shape our character. It is not the good times that reveal our true inner depths; it is the bad times that do that. Do you like what is being revealed? If not, it can be a very constructive time of life when you pinpoint parts of your character that you'd like to work on and improve.2Be positive. Positive thinking helps you to live a successful life. This doesn't mean being Pollyanna and putting a shallow gloss onto everything; it means looking for the good behind the bad and being grateful for the things that are going right in your life. For example, loss can be balanced by the presence of what you still have, such as health, family members, friends, shelter, a helping hand. This isn't about denying that you have hit rock bottom; it is about finding the rungs to the ladder that let you climb back up again, however gradually.

When other people see a positive person, it encourages them to see the world similarly. This can be especially important, if you're dealing with hardship with family, work colleagues or others. You can inspire one another by finding ways to pull through rather than falling into despair.

Removing the Obstacles1Find what it is that makes you feel unhappy, and do what you can to remove it from your life. This can include staying away from people who upset you, destroying your credit card, renting instead of paying a mortgage, learning to cook so you can avoid junk food, no longer watching TV or reading the news, etc. There are myriad ways you can find more time, save more money, start over again, etc.

If you're stuck, step back from the current situation and try to get some perspective––this can be as simple as asking yourself what you'll regret not doing looking back 10 years from now or asking yourself what you'd advise a friend in the same situation.2Take control of what you can control. What about when you feel like a hardship is outside of your control? Don't turn meek and give up! There is always something within your control and that is your reaction. If you sigh, "Oh well, things are always bad...", then you're giving in to bad forces. Instead, see things for what they are but make a decision that: "I won't let that turn me from my good plans!"For example, if you have a bullying boss at work, it's unhelpful to tell yourself to put up with it because: "This is how things always have been." Sure, you might need the job -- but you don't need the nastiness and fear eroding your sense of purpose in life. To shore yourself up:Tell yourself that "This person can't bother me!" and that "I won't let this person upset me." Smile, to let this person see clearly that he or she doesn't get to you; that removes the power struggle.Second, get on with doing your own job well and deal with anything that causes you to flounder, such as getting more training or reading books on management at night.Third, make a decision about what you really want. Perhaps it's a different job, in which case, start looking elsewhere. Perhaps it's a different boss, in which case, start looking for ways to move to a different department. Or, perhaps you don't even want a job anymore. In which case, start working out ways to fund and maintain your retirement/freelancing/consulting/hobo/whatever-it-be lifestyle. You are still in control of the choices.3Be aware that deadlines, responsibilities and injustices (and now even long days of sitting) have replaced our ancestors' wild animal fears as the stressors of our time. You may respond to being accused of a mistake in your work, through tightened jaws saying, "I'm sorry. I'll take care of it." You endure the standoff. You are faced with such stressors all day, every day. Stress that in essence never shuts off, is potentially harmful in two ways––increased risk of heart disease, digestive disorders, ulcers and many other conditions from continual surges of stress hormone. And harmful behaviors, such as smoking, alcohol abuse and overeating may kill you. Avoid the damaging effects of prolonged stress, by two basic ways:

Eliminate the stressors; change your reaction, your department, your job.Minimize the stress response by: getting enough rest, relaxing deeply and always getting enough sleep (sleep deprivation is a major source of bringing us down at any time). Eat well to ensure proper nutrition and undertake regular, vigorous exercise.

Plan1Make plans for the life you want to live. Act like you're already living it and you will surprise yourself to see some of the things come to be, just because you are already acting as if you're leading that preferred life.Be persistent and loyal to your plans, yet flexible. Goals are all very well when they align properly with the person you are but remember that you will always continue to change and sometimes, your goals need to change with you.2Move toward the light at the end of the tunnel, by planning to get beyond whatever it is that is stalling you and, perhaps, even burying you right now. Plans will allow you to gain a sense of personal control over your own life, even though you can't control the external events. (Indeed, acceptance of this inability to shape events is a vital part of rediscovering the light at the end of the tunnel.) You can't control the tunnel -- but head for where you would expect to find light; it's intuitive to hope, you must believe it is there, so you will try to reach it!

Move toward completion or self actualization. Do what improves your life. Don't give up or drop out of something that you know you want to achieve but find tough. On the other hand, don't flog something to death when it's already had its day. Knowing when to stick with something and when to move to something new altogether is part of knowing yourself better and acknowledging the deeper inner feelings of what is right for you.Make gradual shifts, if you're too scared to leap a long way. Have in place plans to shift bit by bit into something new, so that it doesn't feel overwhelming or terrifying. Be open-minded and flexible, ready to go through new doors that open and investigate. Perhaps there is a new employer, a new degree, a new career or a new house out there for you. Start pushing gently to see and persist until you reach the light.

Staying Fit Mentally and Physically1Stay focused on your self worth. Any sort of traumatic experience in life, be it an accident, loss of a family member, job loss, house loss or other trauma can leave you feeling like it's not worth caring for yourself much. This is a feeling worth fighting against because you still matter, even during the hardest of times.Avoid falling into the trap of giving of yourself to everyone else around you at your expense. This is a form of self denial and distraction from the woes that really ail you. The real truth is that you can only be a good parent, friend, co-worker etc., if you're whole within yourself, and that requires caring for yourself.2Start and maintain an exercise program that suits your physical abilities and lifestyle. Exercise helps you feel better (it burns off stress hormones), be healthier and can help you to live longer in a strong and capable way.

Choose exercise by what feels good and works for you. Avoid joining a gym, jogging in the park or surf paddling the harbor just because your friends or co-workers do––choose what you enjoy doing and know you'll be motivated to keep doing.Exercise does not need to cost money. Gym memberships and expensive gear are all very well when you have money but walking, running, swimming and hiking are all very affordable, even free, ways to keep fit with ease.3Find a healthy method of escape. One method is called sublimation:, namely, using a mature type of defense mechanism where unacceptable impulses or negative thinking are transformed on purpose into relaxing and, perhaps, fulfilling activities. For example:

Anger can be sublimated into good grades by studying, practicing writing, art, music or even building a hobby in a career.If you are dealing with a situation where you can't remove the problem from your life, then escaping anxiety in reading, watching movies or meditating may be highly soothing until your metaphorical "clouds" pass.

Edit TipsFind your bliss, joy. Smile; enjoy calm serenity. Breathe normally. **Replace hard thoughts with positive ones or hum your good music in your mind -- and get positive feelings automatically like: "I'll be okay! Today is a new start!"Unless you are a magnet, positive attracts positive.Choosing joy, your bliss, is the secret to success in life.

Edit WarningsDo not ever turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape. In the long run, it will hurt you more than it will help you.Negativity causes fumbling, boredom and headaches. A furrowed brow (worry, hate) causes "wrinkles" in your thinking and "blemishes" your whole life.Misery attracts misery and miserable people fizzle and fume together.

Edit Things You'll NeedA positive plan

Edit Related wikiHowsHow to Fulfill Your DreamsHow to Enjoy LifeHow to Be HappyHow to Use AutosuggestionArticle Info Featured Article

Categories: Featured Articles | Goal Realization & Problem Solving | Happiness & Optimism

Recent edits by: Lewis Collard, Aakash Raj Dahal, Flickety

Share this Article: Tweet
DiscussPrintEmailEditSend fan mail to authors

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 9,422 times.

Was this article accurate?

YesNo

Write An ArticleRandom Articlevar aax_src='3003';var amzn_targs = '';var url = encodeURIComponent(document.location);try { url = encodeURIComponent("" + window.top.location); } catch(e) {}document.write("");document.close();Related ArticlesAccomplish a GoalSet GoalsAchieve Your Full PotentialCure Someday Syndrome Featured ArticlesEdit Personal Information on FacebookTrain a Cat to Stop Doing Almost AnythingCare for OrchidsBuild a Tumbling ComposterMeet a Community Member

Meet JirachiQueen, a wikiHow editor for 2 years now who loves bold editing, contributing to the Youth Project, and helping out other wikiHowians. She considers wikiHow her "second family" and appreciates that everyone is always ready to lend a helping hand. Her favorite article on wikiHow is How to Know if a Guy Likes You.

Join The Community

- collapse Things to Do Write an Article Edit this Article Request a New Article Answer a RequestLogin for more!+ expand Places to Visit Recent Changes ForumsCommunity Portal Follow Us On...
the how to manual that you can edit

Home About wikiHow Terms of Use RSS Site map

Explore Categories Arts and Entertainment Cars and Other Vehicles Computers and Electronics Education and Communications Family Life Finance and Business Food and Entertaining Health Hobbies and Crafts Holidays and Traditions Home and Garden Other Personal Care and Style Pets and Animals Philosophy and Religion Relationships Sports and Fitness Travel wikiHow Work World Youth All text shared under a Creative Commons License. Powered by Mediawiki.
xThank Our Volunteer Authors.

Give wikiHow a +1.

if (WH.ExitTimer) {WH.ExitTimer.start();}

View the original article here