How to Overcome Shyness

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Pin ItArticle EditDiscussAsk yourself this: Do you become nervous when you are placed in the spotlight? Do strangers make you shudder? Does the simple thought of talking in front of people make you want to run to the nearest restroom? Do you immediately want to leave that restroom if someone else is in there already?

Well guess what... you're not alone! Many people in the world suffer from mild to extreme shyness, and are struggling to overcome it! Remember that breaking out from that shell doesn't magically happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and of course, the desire to change. The following are some tips to assist you in overcoming shyness.

Edit Steps

Help with Shyness

Sample Ways to Overcome Shyness

Sample Ways to Build Confidence

Overcoming Shyness1Figure out what makes you feel shy. Do you become shy in front of new audiences? When learning a new skill? When venturing into a new situation? When surrounded by people you know and admire? When you don't know anyone somewhere? Try to pinpoint the thoughts that go through your head right before the shyness hits. Then come up with some "I" statements that you can repeat to yourself, like a mantra, to head off those thoughts: "I can do this", "I look good", "I have something to offer", etc.

2Build your self confidence. Everyone has some special gift or trait to offer to the world. It may sound corny, but it's true. Think about what you know, what you can do, and what you have accomplished, rather than fixating on how you look, sound, or dress. Keep in mind that everyone, even the "beautiful people", has something about themselves or their life that they don't like. There's no particular reason why your "problem" should make you shy while their "problem" doesn't make them shy.

3Get comfortable. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, and build up your confidence through them. Eventually, this will translate to other situations being more comfortable.4Close your eyes and visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now, in your mind's eye, make yourself feel confident. Do this often, and for different situations. This is most effective if you do this daily, especially in the morning. It might feel silly, but athletes use visualization to develop their skills, so why not you?

5Maintain close bonds with your friends, as they can be there for you as you crack out of your shell. They'll be happy to help and encourage you with your progress.6Look and act approachable. Convey an open, friendly attitude with your body language.

7Smile and make eye contact. A simple smile in the direction of a stranger may brighten your day, and it will brighten theirs too! Smiling is a friendly way to acknowledge others, and it makes a pretty good lead-in to start a conversation with anyone, stranger or friend.8Practice good posture and speaking clearly. Standing tall gives the world the impression that you are self-confident and receptive to others. Speaking clearly will help avoid the potential embarrassment of needing to repeat what you said due to mumbling or talking too quietly.9Laugh often, but only at things you find genuinely amusing. It will help ease any tension you may be feeling and will make you feel more relaxed.10Don't look preoccupied. Don't work on papers, text or do your make-up if you want someone to talk to you.11Set goals for yourself. Focus on small, daily accomplishments, then gradually become more daring.

12Make a list of situations that make you feel anxious. Order them so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first and those that cause you the most anxiety are last. Once you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working through them, one-by-one. The first few "easier" situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list. Don't worry if you have to go backwards on the list sometimes; take it at your own pace, but make an effort to push yourself.

13Introduce yourself to one new person each day. It is often easier to talk with strangers, at least briefly. After all, you may never see them again, so who cares what they think about you?14Make new friends. Talk to somebody you would not normally think about having a conversation with. Try to find people who share one or more of your interests and make plans to talk to them. Initiate conversation with a simple starter, such as, "That's a nice bag, where did you get it?" or "It's really nice outside, don't you think?" Most people are good-natured and will be receptive to smalltalk.15Try doing stuff you never dreamed you would. Doing something really exciting, like sky diving, will: a) provide an endorphin rush; and b) give you a story to tell when you are making conversation with people. And if you can find the courage to do something that big, then something like talking to a co-worker, your boss or a potential date should seem easy.16Don't compare yourself to others. - The more you compare yourself to others, the more you will feel that you are not able to measure up and the more intimidated you will feel, which will make you shyer.

17Follow the rules, but don't overdo it - Loosen up sometimes! Don't be uptight about everything you do. If you are trying to conform to social standards wherever you go, you'll probably have feeling that you are not doing something right and are more likely to clam up. Try not to obsess about what everyone thinks about you. People like fun and exciting people. You can become interesting by taking small risks, one step at a time. Life's short - make the most of it!

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Edit TipsIf you're shy because you are scared of what people might say about you, they can also do that when you're not shy. The fact is that people make mistakes all the time! Don't be afraid, people will accept you for who you are.Remember, if you find the courage to speak naturally and without fear, you will become more comfortable with that concept and eventually act that way almost all the time.Keep working at it. It may take you time to feel more comfortable, don't get discouraged.Just know that almost everyone is shy to some extent. The difference is the degree of shyness. You can boost your confidence through practicing conversation skills and having new topics to discuss.There's nothing wrong with being shy, but there's nothing wrong with being outgoing either!Make a list of things you love about yourself and post it on your wall. It may strike up some confidence before leaving the door.Playing games is a great way to slowly break out of your shell and talk to people.Give yourself lots of time to talk. Speaking slowly gives you more time to think about what to say, as well as often adding weight to your words.Volunteer or join a club or social group! Join a club you are interested in and you'll meet other people with common interests. This is a great way to make friends.Overcome stage fright by imagining you are someone else, such as a favorite celebrity you admire. Picture yourself as that person until you feel comfortable onstage.Don't be afraid to seek professional help; group counseling, individual counseling, and therapy can help you along the way. Sometimes it's more than just shyness, and it's important to realize that. Social Anxiety Disorder is often seen as "extreme shyness", so make sure that you know what you have.Even if you think things will end badly, go for it! More than likely it will turn out fine, and it's better to find out for sure than to have regrets on what might have happened!Many children grow out of their shyness.Remember that shyness is an emotion, not a permanent personality trait. You have the power to change your feelings of shyness through desire and actions.Fear and excitement share the same chemistry, adrenaline. If you focus on the positive aspects of the event, speech, activity, etc. and think of your tension as anticipation, you can flip your fears over into a thrill that makes you enjoy being outgoing. Many outgoing, eloquent people go into public situations with as much tension as you do but they interpret it as excitement and share it with others. Stage fright can vanish into a stellar performance when you make that switch in what you think the feeling is.

Edit WarningsIf you were known for being shy amongst family members and friends, watch out for the harmless teasing. Some may be uncomfortable with you existing outside the category they've put you in, in their own minds. Ignore them. They mean well, but don't let them scare you back into your shell!Remember, you are human just like everyone else. Someone else might have way more problems than you but still be more out going than you. Just be human, start speaking your mind, and don't worry about what people think about you.When you are criticized, question the motives and accuracy of your critic. They may want to make you feel small or push you out of the way, they may be jealous of something and want you to underrate it, they may be controlling or just confident about their ideas. Do you really agree with the criticism? If both the people who like you best and the people who can't stand you agree on a trait about you, they're probably right. Otherwise they're as likely to be reacting to themselves as to anything you said or did.When you're complimented, accept the compliment and believe it's true. People give compliments because they mean them, most will look for something nice to say about you that's real. They may feel insulted if their opinion is rejected by your saying 'naw, I'm not that good/attractive/etc.' and become annoyed. the best response to any compliment is just 'thank you' or 'thank you, I worked hard for it' (if it is something you did rather than something you are, like tall or thin etc.)

Edit Related wikiHowsHow to Overcome Shyness Permanently (Emotional Auto Suggestion)How to Build Self ConfidenceHow to Be ConfidentHow to Talk to a Shy PersonHow to Not Be ShyHow to Overcome Shyness with GirlsHow to Overcome Shyness With AdultsHow to Overcome Shyness in High SchoolHow to Overcome Shyness Around GuysHow to Accomplish a GoalHow to Set GoalsHow to Accept Being ShyHow to Be CharismaticHow to Be PopularHow to Act ShyHow to Be Outgoing in CollegeHow to Do Well in CollegeHow to Disguise YourselfHow to Go from Shy to ConfidentArticle Info Featured Article

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